Anyway Friend
by xxLittle Black Dressxx
Summary: Set after 9x01. Addison reflects on her relationship with Mark.


A/N: I wanted to write some kind of tribute to Mark, and I've always thought that Sam's "Anyway Friend" speech on Private Practice captured Addison and Mark's relationship nicely, so the result was this one-shot. I hope you like it, and thanks for reading!

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**Anyway Friend**

_An anyway friend is the one person in your life, who no matter what they say or do, no matter what they've been through with you, they love you anyway._

Addison made her way to the back of the church, holding a crying Sofia in her arms. The little girl had begun wailing uncontrollably about halfway through her father's funeral, and Addison quickly jumped at the opportunity to get Sofia (and herself) out of the church. She did her best to ignore the questioning glances that her friends and former coworkers shot her way when she insisted upon being the one to take Sofia outside, convincing Callie to stay for the remainder of the service and say goodbye to Mark.

It was better this way. Sofia wasn't the only one who needed to get out of that church. Addison needed to get out too. She needed to get away – away from the casket, which she still refused to believe held Mark's body; away from all of the people dressed in black; away from the sad reality that had become her life. Truth be told, she wanted to cry right along with Sofia – loud and without abandon. But she couldn't do that. She was the adult, and she had to keep it together…for Sofia's sake.

So she took the little girl away from her father's funeral, and sat down on a bench just outside the church, with Sofia in her lap, and spoke to the little girl in soothing tones. She told Sofia about her father…about the type of man that he was. And as she continued to tell Sofia about Mark, Addison felt a dull pain in her chest, as she thought about how Sofia would never really get to know her father…how all of the stories that people would tell her would never be enough.

But stories and memories were the best Addison could do, so she settled for that.

"You know," Addison said softly, as she gently rubbed the little girl's back, "your dad loved you so much. He was a really good man…and the best friend I've ever had." She paused for a moment, thinking about all of the times that Mark had been there for her, and all the times that she had been there for him. And she choked back a sob at the realization that they'd never again have these moments with each other.

"You know, one time, your dad flew all the way from New York to Seattle, just because I asked him to," Addison continued. "I was upset, and I called him, and he flew across the country…because I asked him to. That's just the type of person your dad was. That's the type of relationship we had." She looked at Sofia, who had calmed down considerably, and offered the little girl a weak smile. "Your dad was my anyway friend. That one person in your life, who no matter what they say or do, no matter what they've been through with you, they love you anyway." Addison looked at Sofia and sighed sadly. "Your dad and I…we went through a lot together…and we both really, really hurt each other, but I always loved him anyway. We always loved each other anyway."

And as Addison held Sofia close, as she thought about Mark, she realized just how true her words were. "We loved each other anyway," she repeated sadly. "He cheated on me. I loved him anyway. I had an abortion. He loved me anyway. I turned him down because I wanted to make things work with Derek. He loved me anyway. He turned me down because he was still in love with Lexie. I loved him anyway. We loved each other anyway. We always loved each other anyway."

The tears were burning Addison's eyes, as the weight of her relationship with Mark – and the weight of everything she'd lost – came crashing down on her. Mark was her anyway friend. And he was gone. The only person who had ever truly loved her anyway was gone.

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and turned her attention to Sofia. "Well, it looks like you've calmed down," she told the little girl softly. "We should probably get you back in there."

She moved to get off the bench, but thought better of it. She tuned Sofia in her lap, so that she could meet the little girl's eyes. "I know that there's nothing I can do to replace your dad," Addison began sadly, "but, uh, I could be your anyway friend. I'll love you anyway. No matter what you say or do, I'll love you anyway. And you can call me anytime you're upset or in trouble…because that's what your father and I used to do. And I'll be there for you…just like I was there for him…just like he was there for me."

Addison swallowed hard, as she contemplated the arrangement she had just reached with Sofia. Sofia would never be Mark, but she liked to think Sofia was a good second choice. And she liked to think that Mark might be happy with the arrangement. "I'm not replacing you Mark," she said quietly. "That could never happen."

Addison looked down at Sofia. "We should really get back in there," she said softly. She began to stand up but, out of nowhere, Sofia broke down into hysterics.

"It's okay," Addison said soothingly, stroking the little girl's back, as she sat back down on the bench. "It's okay," she repeated. But it wasn't okay. And, suddenly, Addison found herself losing the battle she'd been fighting all day.

She looked at Sofia, who was still whimpering softly. "Well, if you're gonna cry," she choked out, as the tears began to fall from her own eyes. She wrapped her arms around Sofia, pulling her into a comforting hug, gently rocking back and forth, as the two of them cried together. "I love you anyway," she whispered – though she wasn't entirely sure if her words were directed at Sofia or Mark or both of them. She just knew she meant what she said. "I'll always love you anyway."


End file.
